Last night in Los Angeles, the world watched as television celebrities walked the Red Carpet in style to receive their awards for excellence. As is typically the case, the work of stylists, makeup artists, hairdressers, and no doubt dermatologists and plastic surgeons were on full display. It takes a Village, People. Indian Chief and Police Man aside, the women of the evening were lovely. Predictable, for the most part, and safe, but lovely nonetheless.
I would note only three major trends on the Carpet, which may have what made the show lovely and not exciting. Very few fashion risks were taken, and of the trends, two involved color. Greige is one of those word contractions folks are paid to come up with to describe a color that’s neither here nor there — Gray and Beige had a baby, and…..well, you understand. The thing about Greige at an awards show is that it could read on television as silver, gray, beige, nude, taupe, stone, clay, khaki, putty, or cloud. What? Cloud is a color! Rachel Zoe says so! Stars that may or may not have been wearing the non-color included Connie Britton, Emily Van Camp, Morena Baccarin,and Christina Hendricks. Kerry Washington and Kristin Wiig did neutrals that fell more into beige than greige, but it did leave the second trend of the night, neon yellow, only more of a bland background to stand out in.
The neon/citrus/yellow/acid green celebs included the stunning Julie Bowen, in a Monique L’huillier modern strapless gown with a substantial fishtail train. I loved this dress for it’s clean, architectural lines, taking the ever-present sweetheart mermaid gown and turning it on its edge. Her “messy” hair, smoky eyes and toned arms were a perfect compliment to the dress. Also in yellow was one of my favorite actresses, Claire Danes. Claire is pregnant at the moment, and I was quite looking forward to see how she would choose to navigate her baby bump. Typically modern with an edge, I think she missed the mark in bright yellow Lanvin. I’m fairly certain this dress was NOT intended as a maternity dress, but Claire figured since she was small, she could get away with it. The problem with putting a soccer ball (or basketball or honeydew) under your dress is that it disrupts the lines of the dress entirely. The front hem pulled up, the draping was thrown off, and the entire thing looked like she grabbed a yellow tarp and wrapped it around her and ran. Leslie Mann wore a fun, vintage inspired dress with white beading on top and neon yellow on the bottom. I thought this dress was original, stylish and matched her personality well. Her turquoise earrings and upswept hair added to the fun of this gown. Julianne Moore was in more of an acid green dress by Christian Dior Couture that was simple, a little too covered, elegant and interesting. I like seeing the over 50 set find their groove in a non-Meryl Streep kind of way. Stay modern!
There were some real misses last night, including Amy Poehler in Stella McCartney. The dress itself, a black sequined halter, was just fine….but something was amiss with the fit. Amy has children, she is not 19, she has the dubious honor of having what Hollywood calls “A Real Body”. And Real Bodies, apparently, must be bound in elastic in order to endure the slinky gowns and glaring lights on the Red Carpet. This dress did NOTHING for her normalness, which is clearly unacceptable! She needed a dress with more structure, or Spanx and a good bra, maybe some fashion tape and a smoke machine. Really, at that point, you have to wonder if its worth it. That dress should have been passed on and handed directly to Gwyneth Paltrow. Also in the “right dress, wrong girl” category was Martha Plimpton in a lace halter that would have been perfection on Salma Hayek. Ladies, know your limits.
I am sad to have to say one of my Red Carpet favorites missed the mark last night. Sofia Vergara wore a Zuhair Murad sequined dress that broke the one rule women with Jessica Rabbit type curves should abide. Sofia has done an excellent job thus far highlighting her ample bosom in an elegant manner, while hugging the rest of her curves, not exposing them. This dress had the following “features”: Turquoise! Sequins! Crazy neckline! Heaving bosom! Tight! Mermaid hem! Low back! Cut-out for small of back! Suffice it to say that’s about six more features than anyone should attempt to rock at one time on the Carpet or in life. Too. Much. Dial it down, Charro. We see them. We see you.
Speaking of Charro, the typically demure Elizabeth Moss wore a Dolce & Gabana dress that were it not for its black background color, would have looked like a precise Halloween Costume for a Lettuce Wrap. I love a risk, but this was just weird. Juliana Marguiles also wore Grandma’s upholstery in a Giambatista Valli couture dress with too much texture to offset the busy floral. It did have pockets, though, and I do love me some pockets. Lena Dunham, the creator and star of the new HBO series Girls, wore a navy blue lace short- sleeved gown that needed only one adjustment….she is famously Rubenesque and not shy about it, but would someone get this girl a belt? It wasn’t just that it wasn’t form-fitting, it just didn’t fit her form. What I did love, however was her edgy hair and smoky eyes. Fabulous, Lena, just like you.
Nicole Kidman annoys me. I haven’t enjoyed her on the Red Carpet since Tom was her stylist (holla!), and last night was no exception. She wore a white dress that was too tight in the back (back fat? what?), and had a blue beaded applique design in front. Odd. Boring. Whatever it was, girlfriend needs a new look. Zooey Deschanel was in a pale blue Reem Acra tulle dress that had a messy laser cut overlay that looked exactly that: messy.
The young’uns last night seemed to be playing dress up. Hayden Panettiere was able to get a stylist who was able to get her hands on Spring 2013 Marchesa. It was a gold beaded dress with a blue sari tulle overlay. I felt this dress was beautiful in and of itself, and would have been predictable on Frida Pinto or Padma Lashki, but interesting on Stacy Keibler or Cate Blanchett. Hayden is too tiny, too young….this dress wore her. Also in Marchesa was Sarah Highland. Maybe Marchesa shouldn’t be worn by the under 25 age group? This felt like a wedding dress, as gorgeous a dress as it was. Ornate, beading, drapey, all in white. Hats off to her for playful sexy curly updo, but otherwise it felt old.
There were the usual suspects in black bedsides the poorly foundationed Ms. Poehler. Melissa McCarthy wore a dress that was just too heavy. It had poofy sleeves, a flower at the shoulder, a cummerbund, pleating, and felt more period costume than elegant dress. I love her in color, and I love her in draping. This was neither. The third quietly shown trend I saw was this origami pleating and layering. January Jones wore a Zac Posen origami pleated sheer dress that was all kinds of cool. She always goes sculptural, and often opts for a Judy Jetson type hemline. I loved it. The shoes were dull, and the makeup severe. Alas. Anna Chlumsky had on a tiered black lace dress that was a more feminine version of Ms. Jones, and I thought it was beautiful. Glen Close wrapped herself in a spider webby un flattering heavy gown that pointed arrows towards her figure flaws. Edie Falco wore Gwyneth Paltrow’s Oscar Dress by Stella McCartney, with an added nude modesty panel where Gwyneth went bare. It’s a great dress, but too soon.
A few fun standouts were Heidi Klum FINALLY coming out of her shell and wearing her break up dress in sea foam green (insert eye roll here), and Lucy Lui in metal art piece by Versace. This dress was stunning and creative and a true work of art. Ginnifer Goodwin wore a crewel work Monique L’huillier dress that was interesting to look at, but too much with the slight high-low hemline, and the weird Cleopatra eyeliner. Ashely Judd appears to have repaired her relationship with her mother and allowed her to style her daughter for the Emmys. File this purple prom dress with INSANELY huge hair under “What were you thinking?” Padma Lashki was one of my favorites in orange Lhuillier as well, and last but not least. I am so pleased to announce my Best Dressed for the night, Ms. Tina Fey. She wore a Vivienne Westwood deep red gown that was a vision from the front and the back. It was simple, yet interesting, fit her to a T, and was NOT black (as she typically wears). Truly beautiful!